Dancing my Back Away

I haven't written in quite a few days because I have been on a crazy journey getting back to T-town. Now I am back, and arranging my apartment so I can soon live in here without assistance (though that day seems a little crazy). I will get back to you about all of that in the future.

I left off telling you about my braces and my childhood with braces. Now I get to tell you about the best years, when I sorta kinda got to forget that my scoliosis existed and just dance on. I got my braces off right before high school started, absolutely perfect. I got to go back to normal teenage clothing- what that is, who knows. I was what many call a "bun head" freshman- spring of junior year. This means, my life revolved around ballet. I literally danced all the time (ok, from 4pm-9pm M-F and all afternoon on Saturdays). When I wasn't dancing I read about it, did exercises for it, wrote about it, watched it, anything I could do to get better, I did. My goal from about age 4 was to be a professional ballet dancer. That's a pretty tall order for a 4year old, but I was determined. I was eventually able to only take classes (at pretty much the coolest high school in the WORLD) half- days so I could go dance more and dance with professionals. Maybe not the best choice for your social life. But I didn't care.

One day, Junior year, everything literally snapped, and I decided I couldn't do it anymore. I left my lifelong dream behind. I wanted to be normal, have friends, go to parties, do normal activities. So I did. But when I went to college and decided to TRY and major in Math (who does that?) , I realized that I wasn't ready to never dance again. * And yes, all this has a point to my lovely story* I enrolled in what was called "modern dance for beginners" because I wasn't too sure what Modern Dance was. Ha. That class legit changed my life. The teacher talked me into auditioning for the dance department, and sure enough, I was back at it.

Junior year of college is when my back started talking. It got to the point where I literally couldn't push myself through the movements it was so bad. You know there is something wrong when your mind is saying, move body move, but it won't let you make it. I saw a Physical Therapist for months, I saw our Sports Medicine Doctor everyday for weeks, and I saw an Orthopedic Doctor. Each different doctor's "prescription" helped for about 2weeks. Then the pain was back. I always thought, hey I have bad scoliosis so it is going to happen. I thought the pain was normal with how my back was, so I just pushed through it every time. I think someone should have stopped me at that point, but that was the "bun head" in me. I made it all the way through college and out into the real dance world. I danced with two professional companies, so I proudly say, "I made it." I made it to the point where I just couldn't do it anymore.
 I was down in Austin, working at a gym where my shift started at 7AM. I was also teaching for 3 different dance studios and dancing for an amazing company. One day, during rehearsal, I did a movement and I honestly can tell you, I couldn't move. The feeling that came over me was unreal. I knew something was really really wrong and I couldn't make myself keep moving. I had to sit down and used every tiny bit of strength I had in me to not cry. And that folks, is how you dance your back away. The story continues, about my path to finding the cure for this horrible pain that just wasn't going to shut up.